i got my ears did.

BEFORE. outside of the piercing pagoda.

AFTER.

the definition of elegance and sophistication. (note: it is hard to take a picture of said pierced ears because fat cheeks block the ears. apologies in advance)

we went to get indian food with our parents and after eating 395085048lbs of deliciousness, we decided to walk it off at the mall with kay kay. little did everyone know that i am spontaneous about piercings (aka when i randomly got my belly button pierced in between econ and accounting at u of i soph year, such an idiot, it looked cute though bc i was thin...until i put in a long dangly earring type belly button ring in there and then i just looked dumb- I WAS 19 WHATEVS ok moving on)((i actually kept my belly button thing in there until i was like 4 months pregnant isnt that weird o OK seriously moving on))

ANYWAY it went down like this:

us walking past claires, me: " i think keya needs her ears pierced."
my mom "yeah you guys should do it"
me "ok lets go. now."
my mom, jakes mom, jakes dad, my dad, jake, keya: "NOW?!?"
me: "yeah lets rip it off like a bandaid, who cares, it takes 5 seconds"
keya: "um, WHAT? drool"
everyone else: sweating, nervous "no, lets think about this"

so we walk around the mall and i see piercing pagoda. perfect.
me: "excuse me, do babies cry a lot when they get their ears pierced?"
15 year old ghetto employee: "nah ma"
me: "ok brb" (starting to feel nervous)

everyone tries to distract me by trying to convince me to join the rest of the world and get a real phone that works at the best buy kiosk. little do they know, JEDI MIND TRICKING DOES NOT WORK WITH ME.

so we go to piercing pagoda and my mom decides to take charge and ask the lady how many baby ears shes done, etc. apparently the lady has done like 908544 babies just this morning, so that completely convinced me. jakes mom immediately was out and sat on the bench to watch our belongings. jake soon joined her biting his fingers. then my mom got nervous and went to the bench. the dads stood around because they needed to act like they were tough but i could tell they were about to break and leave soon too. i fill out the paperwork, pick out the earrings, and then go inside and sit down with keya. then. i went from being the cool, calm, awesomely amazing one to having a minor heart attack, turning bright red, and crying. i was becoming a little hysterical bc i didnt want to hurt my baby and maybe this was a stupid decision and she just looked at me with her huge eyeballs and smiled and omg am i the worst mother ever. who does this??? so then i decide i cant do it and make jake come over. jakes really unhappy with this decision but hes the father and must be the strong one. so he takes her and i am crying.

"wah"
"wah"

the lady starts giving us instructions on how to clean her ear. UM WHAT? that was it????? keya cried for .000000000000003 seconds. she cried more when jake was trying to hold down her round head. she cried more when we put socks on her and god forbid a jacket bc it was cold outside.

anyway. thats how it went down. and she looks absolutely sophisticated, elegant, and ladylike. she really is a woman now. im so proud.

the end.